Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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