I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
