i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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