Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
