Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
