your room smells of hookers.
And success
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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