Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
