do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
