Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
