Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
