I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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