I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Come share oat with me in your robe
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
