She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
