She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
