if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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