she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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