then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
