My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
