i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
