But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
