Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
