You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
