Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
