Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
