I will die if light touches me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
