I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
