it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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