my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
