Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
