Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
