He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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