too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
