and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
