so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
