what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
