I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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