I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
