I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
