Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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