I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
