We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
