Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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