My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
