Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
