He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ketchup is God's man juice
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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