So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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