so explain again why im purple
no
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
