they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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