He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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