He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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