don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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